If you have read my Breastfeeding vs. Formula article, you already know, Jordan and I faced several challenges when Harper was born (if you haven’t read it, I suggest starting there!). What I didn’t talk about in that article was how we coped and what an important role our faith played in that whole journey. I think it’s an incredible story and testament of Jesus and the power of prayer. So I thought it would be a good story to share to show why our faith is such a big ingredient in my “family from scratch” recipe!
Now if you remember, Jordan and I had ran out of options. Harper was having this awful screaming fits, was constantly in pain, and had blood in her diapers. I changed my diet multiple times, tried a hyper-allergenic formula and still ran into problems. Her GI doctor instructed us to put her on a formula called Elecare because of her issues digesting proteins. He said if I REALLY wanted to continue to try breastfeeding and “testing” different allergens, I would need to go on a total elimination diet. That means not nuts, fish, dairy, wheat, soy, or eggs for 2 weeks. Then I would introduce ONE of those, wait two weeks to see how she responds, introduce another for 2 weeks, etc. etc. This diet would take about 2 months to narrow down which of those was the culprit, if it even is any of those! And by that time it would be time to start solids. Along with that, I was stressed beyond belief about what the heck to even eat.
So here we are at this roadblock. Do I torture my self with stress, anxiety, nutritional deprivation and continue to put Harper through this pain to figure out if one of those was the culprit? Or do we put her on this formula that gives us a happy, healthy Harper. Seems like an easy answer right? Until we found out how much the Elecare would cost us. We got home from our appointment and did the math, it would cost us around 400-500 dollars a month to feed this baby of ours. That’s like a filet mignon for each meal every day, for my 2 month old baby! I figured she would be strictly on formula until she was about 6 months old, when we can start introducing solids, and the amount of formula would start to slowly go down. But up until that 6 month point, we were needing around 2500-3000 dollars.
I broke down. My head was spinning…”God created my body to be able to feed this baby, there’s all these women online successful with this diet, but Harper will be so unhappy and in so much pain… we don’t have that kind of money, this is all my fault and I don’t know what to do!”
Now I need to pause here and side track to a different story.
Rewind to February of 2017. I was driving home on a Friday to meet Jordan to head to dinner with my in-laws, glanced down to change the radio station, look up and suddenly traffic is stopped. I slam on my breaks, but had been going 50, so rear ended the truck in front of me. It was not a huge deal, I reach over to grab my phone and purse go to unbuckle my seatbelt when I suddenly go flying forward, my airbags deploy and I black out.
This turned into over a year problems with insurance companies and chiropractor bills. I was sent to the emergency room and thankfully just walked away with some bruises, a concussion and severe whiplash, all because of the car that rear ended me. I tried to ride out pain but finally had to do something. I racked up thousands of dollars of chiropractor bills trying to fix my neck and constant headaches. I had to find a lawyer to help me fight the insurance company of the car who hit me. Throughout this process I had been told, “you probably will only get a couple hundred dollars, if any” and I kept saying “I don’t need any money I just want these bills covered.” Part of me was scared to death we would still owe money, and I had no idea how much.
I hadn’t heard from the lawyer in months,
That’s when these two stories come together, when God stepped in and showed me why he put me through that terrible car accident.
Back to March of 2018… my head was spinning, I felt helpless and had no idea what to do. Figure this diet out and continue to hurt Harper or practically go into debt with this formula?
I was crying on the couch, Jordan had to go meet with a friend, he said to me: “You need to stop looking things up and just pray. Ask God for peace and to speak to your heart.”
So I did. I knew I had no control of this situation and I needed to stop acting like I did. I prayed for God to give me clarity and peace with whatever we had to do. I prayed he would take control and take care of our baby girl.
I went up stairs to vacuum… (It helps calm me down! haha) when suddenly I get a phone call….
“Hi this is Carina from Fuller Law Firm, I’m calling to let you know we have closed your case and have a check here for you for $2,500. When can you pick it up?”
My.Heart.Stopped.
Goosebumps right?! I suddenly felt at ease and like God had lifted a thousand pounds of my shoulders. I had never experienced something like that, a prayer literally being answered right before my eyes. It was the exact number I had just calculated we would need, and I last I had heard from the lawyer, I wasn’t expected to get anything.
My inner struggle and desire to keep breastfeeding completely dissipated. I knew what we had to do and God had it a part of his plan all along. I tried to be so in control of the situation the entire time and never turned to my faith. When I finally prayed truthfully and faithfully, God answered.
That was our first big challenge we faced as new parents and we were so humbled by this, we have no control over what is happening or will happen. I remember how upset we were after my car accident and the whole year of chiropractor bills thinking “why did this happen?” And God had it in His will the entire time, we just didn’t know it.
Just as 1 John 5:14 says…
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God. If we ask anything according to His will…He hears us.”
